The Life of Emile Zola (1937)

I think there are three big kinds of pre-‘60’s Hollywood classic:

• Stuff that’s three and a half hours and has “epic” scrawled all over it (Ben Hur, Around The World in 80 Days)
• Stuff that was great for its time but mostly a foundation for later films (Top Hat, Safety Last)
• And ... stuff that STILL knocks it out of the park because the screenwriting is SO good! (Casablanca, this film, Sunset Boulevard, It’s A Wonderful Life)

This film dramatizes real events — 

In not-so-short summary — In the 1890’s, a Jewish French military officer was scapegoated as a foreign spy and was wrongfully imprisoned for ten years, rousing the interest of the French public. Eventually he was pardoned, in large part due to the actions of Emile Zola, a French writer who propounded that the military was willing to ruin this innocent’s life simply to avoid the embarrassment of admitting they messed up and convicting the now-discovered RIGHT man. This was referred to as the Dreyfuss Affair and is akin to the United States torture debate of the early 2000’s (I’m just gonna hope that doesn’t tick off anyone). It was widely publicized, divided the country, and had people asking, “if we’re supposed to be The Good Guys, how do I react when I hear something so shifty-sounding?” 

The film was two hours, fast-paced, and NOT a total eyesore despite being a courtroom drama filmed in ‘30’s era black-and-white. It reminded me of Lincoln, so if you liked that, you’ll probably like this.

Blood Diamond

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly
This was nominated for FIVE Oscars, including DiCaprio’s third Best Actor Nom. The director also made Glory and The Last Samurai, and similarly, this film is a historical epic of real events tied together by fake characters. It’s about child soldiers, in large part, so it’s quite sobering to watch. Check the content advisory. I found out about it in high school and only watched it this year, so don’t feel any pressure.

This is available on Hulu btw. Everything else has been Netflix.

That all said, this film was honestly stellar. I’ve heard about it for years and thought it was the epitome of a scare-‘em-straight violent film, but the violence felt more rooted than most movies; the film itself acknowledged that a violent story will shock you, but won’t teach you. What you need are facts, which form the backdrop of this story. 

As someone who grew up overseas, the thread of Leo’s character — of being born in one place but not being sure what your true home is — really resonated. The imagery was beautiful. Also liked that Djimon Hounsou (the black African in the pic) was the main character - Leonardo DiCaprio drew audiences and was -EXCELLENT- in his role. But it really felt like it was about Djimon’s character in the end, because it was really about trying to be a normal man in a violent country, and Djimon’s character is the normal man, not the gun-toting soldier Leo was.

I’ve worked with a few African refugees in the past, so maybe that’s another reason I liked it. I’m definitely prejudiced by personal experience, but hey, it got nominated for five Oscars, so it ain’t nothing

It’s a bit long - two hours and twenty three minutes - and it takes a little while for the main plot to get going, but once it starts, it’s good. Like I said, maybe don’t watch it with the kids, but if you get a chance, worth it. 

Space Jam!

Starring: Micheal Jordan, Bill Murray, Wayne Knight
Legitimately as good as people said it was. Seems like it would be the worst film ever considering the process behind making it, but it’s good!

Obligatory.

As far as movies starring sports stars hanging with kid characters, it’s definitely a great entry. I really had fun! Don’t undersell it

Classic Bugs Bunny - Rules Lawyer’ing the aliens into a basketball game for winning. Honestly justifies everything else after. Also, that opening was great. Made you give a flip about Micheal Jordan ‘cause he was once [A Kid Like You]

The only Christmas song you will ever need.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Starring: Monty Python! Who else!? Turns out it’s SIX guys, not four. That I didn’t know that is proof I’m not British, if it does nothing else. Also directed by two of them (Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones), so no need for a credit for that 
I’ve seen this quoted in person and on the Internet since I was ten years old, but it wasn’t ‘til this week that I actually experienced it. It’s like watching the original Star Wars - near EVERY scene in this film is a cultural touchstone. Bless 

I’m noticing there’s a lot of Englishmen in these reviews. There’s a lot of Morgan Freeman in later ones so maybe it’s just a phase.

Really quite funny. Like, really as funny as advertised. Like all comedies, the more people you watch it with, the better. It’s also only an hour and a half, so it won’t take all your night.

This was made for $400,000, and I’m gonna bet most of that went to camera and film costs, but you could’ve fooled me! It looks great!

This was made in 1975(!), so it pre-dates Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Excalibur, Harry Potter, the Narnia films, and basically all modern fantasy. There’s a scene that looks like it’s straight parodying The Lion King, but the Lion King must’ve been borrowing from Monty Python! Aside from the obviously comedic things, a lot of what we see IS fairly accurate to the mythology - knights can do whatever they want, everyone’s gaga for the Grail, the scientific process isn’t very advanced, and taking a shower isn’t the norm.

The King (2019)

Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Robert Pattinson, Joel Edgerton 
Directed by: David Michôd, most famous for directing a western set in Australia and a political satire. He co-wrote this with Joel Edgerton AND with William Shakespeare so he’s clearly a flexible director. Netflix released this in another attempt at prestige film, but it seems to have gone mostly unnoticed despite good marketing. 

Started it during winter break and finally finished it today. It’s two hours and a half hours and mostly long shots of silence. I feel justified

It’s a mashup of Henry V Shakespeare and actual historical events - British crown feuding with Frenchmen, young Henry becoming king, and the famous Battle of Agincourt. 

Joel Edgerton plays a disillusioned knight - a version of Falstaff from the play. Seems to be where the lion’s share of original material is concentrated. Shakespearean Falstaff is the drunk friend who’s fun, but deeply bad for you. This film’s Falstaff is a drunk lots of the time, but only ‘cause he’s so messed up from war, and he sobers up once the plot starts.

Agincourt is pretty cool. They go full Narnia for it - lots of bodies and fighting. Notably try to keep it as unglamorous (but effective) as the real Agincourt. 

Robert Pattinson only has three scenes, all in the last half, but he kills every second of screentime. If you’re not convinced he can act enough to be Batman, look this up.

There’s a long duel at the beginning that’s pretty gripping. Like MMA meets Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. 

Overall, pretty interesting. Pretty violent a few times, but no sex, no swearing, and a depiction of an age we don’t often see

Outlaw King

Starring: Chris Pine, Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Directed by: David Mackenzie

Released by Netflix in 2018, one of its attempts at prestige film-making, directed by a Scotsman who’s also famous for his auteur films with famous actors. This was a foray into the action genre for him 

Less sexual than it was advertised as being (thank heavens).

Lots of battle scenes - lots of angry screaming Scots

Chris Pine killed it - I wouldn’t have pegged him as a European type; I have him down as an All-American square-jaw. But someone (probably director David Mackenzie who’s worked with him before) took a look at him and thought he could play a Scotsman. They give everyone crazy hair and beards and they make it look like a bunch of non-showering medieval men even though they’re played by Hollywood A-listers. 

It feels like it’s trying to redeem Hollywood’s ahistorical version of Braveheart - near everything is accurate, even when it might not be as exciting. And it still manages to be entertaining. 

One guy gets hung and disemboweled onscreen VERY briefly — but the color they chose for his fake blood looked more like cake dressing — he looked he was getting stabbed in a raspberry crumble he’d hidden under his shirt. Helped deaden the shockingness, so that’s good.